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Ray54 View Drop Down
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Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Location: Paso Robles, Ca
Points: 4723 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ray54 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Feb 2020 at 7:25pm
It is real easy to not figure out just how bad your parents mind has slipped. I knew my dad was not remembering everything,but he had a concussion when in his upper 70's. They said may have some short term memory trouble,did not know how lucky he and we where. But 10 years pass and mom has a stroke and she never got the left side working all the way after that. As mom is in the hospital,social worker in the hospital takes me aside and says my dad is to far gone to be left on his own.


It was amazing all the little thing mom did that without trying was covering up how bad dad's mind had slipped. Since we are 15 miles from town and had a place across the road from dad,we left him over night by himself for almost 2 years more. But the Lord provided in many ways. With myself and 2 kids in junior college living at home we got him and took him to lunch in town and to see mom every day for almost 3 years. A few days a month his brother or my sister from out of area and my wife would give the 3 of us normal ones a day off.(My wife was teaching school ) We finally moved in with him for the last months. Then as he got worse and need shots and medicine at all hours of the day he spent another 2 years in a nursing home along with mom. (Mom had always like doctors and hospital and liked the idea of a nursing home,with not much use of left side and other issues that was also a blessing)Which by then he had forgotten so much it was surprising how happy he was in the home.


But all people are different in just how much care you can give. As well as how much the cared for one is needing done for them. So don't judge yourself if or when it gets to be a bigger load than you can carry.

 I firmly believe since they don't remember things to begin with a mild anti depressant drug is very helpful thing. It really was better for my dad when he was at the home in that the doctor saw him often and got the dosage much better dialed in. Because before the anti depressant he would get mad about things from 30 or 50 years ago if old memories where triggered. The good thing it would go away fast to,but he was still upset,even though he did not know why.

If you have no other outlet for frustration Thad keep coming back and rant all you want. Not good to have to bottle to much up after a while. Will do my best to remember to hold you up in prayer every day. 
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Thad in AR. View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Arkansas
Points: 9643 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thad in AR. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Feb 2020 at 7:26pm
Originally posted by Hubert (Ga)engine7 Hubert (Ga)engine7 wrote:

Thad, I would look at a credit card vs a debit card. Here in Georgia if the card is compromised, i.e. unauthorized charges,  you are not on the hook for the loss if it is a credit card. Also with a debit card your Mom will have to have the pin number every time she uses it.

Two very good points Hubert. I’ll run that by the family. That pin could prove to be a pain. Also at her age I know she’s a target.
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Thad in AR. View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Arkansas
Points: 9643 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thad in AR. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Feb 2020 at 7:31pm
Originally posted by Ray54 Ray54 wrote:

It is real easy to not figure out just how bad your parents mind has slipped. I knew my dad was not remembering everything,but he had a concussion when in his upper 70's. They said may have some short term memory trouble,did not know how lucky he and we where. But 10 years pass and mom has a stroke and she never got the left side working all the way after that. As mom is in the hospital,social worker in the hospital takes me aside and says my dad is to far gone to be left on his own.


It was amazing all the little thing mom did that without trying was covering up how bad dad's mind had slipped. Since we are 15 miles from town and had a place across the road from dad,we left him over night by himself for almost 2 years more. But the Lord provided in many ways. With myself and 2 kids in junior college living at home we got him and took him to lunch in town and to see mom every day for almost 3 years. A few days a month his brother or my sister from out of area and my wife would give the 3 of us normal ones a day off.(My wife was teaching school ) We finally moved in with him for the last months. Then as he got worse and need shots and medicine at all hours of the day he spent another 2 years in a nursing home along with mom. (Mom had always like doctors and hospital and liked the idea of a nursing home,with not much use of left side and other issues that was also a blessing)Which by then he had forgotten so much it was surprising how happy he was in the home.


But all people are different in just how much care you can give. As well as how much the cared for one is needing done for them. So don't judge yourself if or when it gets to be a bigger load than you can carry.

 I firmly believe since they don't remember things to begin with a mild anti depressant drug is very helpful thing. It really was better for my dad when he was at the home in that the doctor saw him often and got the dosage much better dialed in. Because before the anti depressant he would get mad about things from 30 or 50 years ago if old memories where triggered. The good thing it would go away fast to,but he was still upset,even though he did not know why.

If you have no other outlet for frustration Thad keep coming back and rant all you want. Not good to have to bottle to much up after a while. Will do my best to remember to hold you up in prayer every day. 

I appreciate this a bunch.
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ErinHenry552 View Drop Down
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Joined: 27 Apr 2022
Location: usa
Points: 3 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ErinHenry552 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Apr 2022 at 4:36pm
Dementia in old age is no different: it can affect anyone, including the bed-ridden patient. It is even more difficult for relatives in such circumstances. In addition to the physical burden of caring for a bed-ridden patient. It is very difficult to look at when it comes to a loved one. At first, I was quite concerned about my father's seizures and searched for a long time for effective dementia care on many forums, such as this one: https://www.thekey.com/learning-center/alzheimers-and-dementia-caregiving/how-to-have-more-good-days-with-dementia. This article helped me increase my knowledge in this area. Gradually I was able to take care of my father regularly. I wish you the same success in solving your problems.


Edited by ErinHenry552 - 30 Apr 2022 at 9:43am
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