OK, some funnies to read 2nite instead of of ,,,,,

the toothpaste. On our anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.

For a week I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste. I was expecting my wife to thank me,
but she never did it.

Finally, last night she turned and looked at me and said, "Why did you stop brushing your teeth?!"

across from me. I say, "Are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them yells,
"It's Wales, you idiot." So I said, "OK, are you two Whales from Scotland?"

I don't remember much after that.

Once upon a time, there lived a king who had the most beautiful daughter, but there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what: metal, wood, stone ... anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured." The king was thrilled and came up with a plan. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge. The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly. The second prince brought diamonds. He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed. The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." The princess did as she was told, though she turned red. She held it in her hand and it did not melt! The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. The prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after. But just what was in the prince's pants? ? ? ? ? ?  M&Ms of coarse, they melt in your mouths not in your hands,,,,,

	This post was edited by Ann at 1:14 PM on Feb 1 )

	This post was edited by Ann at 10:31 PM on Jan 25 Like (2) Dislike (0)

A LOT OF BULL I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyway, I had the Vet come and take a look at him. He said, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him, but they kind of taste like peppermint.

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Edited by desertjoe - 07 Feb 2023 at 3:53pm

80 year old man marries a 20 year old girl..

A guy was sitting at a bar when a rather large woman began flirting with him.  He ignored her for a while, but she was persistent.  He finally asked her, "Do you have a pen?"  She was thrilled that he wanted her number, so she says, "Yes!" and began to reach for her bag.  The guy says, "You better get back to it before the farmer notices you're missing."