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Just some thoughts ? (H) |
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Coke-in-MN
Orange Level Access Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Afton MN Points: 41226 |
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Posted: 19 Jan 2021 at 10:58pm |
No groaning permitted.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A rubberband pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head." I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass." The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. A backward poet writes inverse. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, "Sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger." Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!" Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive." Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. There was a person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. Don't say I didn't warn you.... |
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Faith isn't a jump in the dark. It is a walk in the light. Faith is not guessing; it is knowing something.
"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful." |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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steve(ill)
Orange Level Access Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: illinois Points: 78088 |
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NOW THATS FUNNY !!
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Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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ac hunter
Orange Level Joined: 05 Jan 2011 Location: OHIO Points: 948 |
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Thanks for the humor. Put a smile on my face this morning.
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Ray54
Orange Level Access Joined: 22 Nov 2009 Location: Paso Robles, Ca Points: 4370 |
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Thanks very needed today.
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Tbone95
Orange Level Access Joined: 31 Aug 2012 Location: Michigan Points: 11422 |
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Not gonna lie, I know you said no groaning, but I did.
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plummerscarin
Orange Level Access Joined: 22 Jun 2015 Location: ia Points: 3163 |
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Hubert (Ga)engine7
Orange Level Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Jackson Cnty,GA Points: 6142 |
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Good ones!
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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Brian F(IL)
Orange Level Access Joined: 14 Sep 2009 Location: Paxton, IL Points: 2691 |
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Ditto. Me too.
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Dirt Farmer
Silver Level Access Joined: 15 Sep 2020 Location: Illinois Points: 292 |
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Coke, glad to see some humor back on here, Missed your humor and interesting posts. I am a newer member on here but have been enjoying this site for some time as it is good reading and I always learn something. Back in June or July of 2018 you posted a story titled "Hands". I go back and read it often as it reminds me of working alongside my grandfather growing up and continues through my father and I look forward to passing it to my children. Keep up the good writing and bring back a few from the past for the newer audience. Not getting into politics but at one time someone shared "A Prayer Before A Legislative Body". How fitting it would be to see it again in the times we live in.
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AC7060IL
Orange Level Joined: 19 Aug 2012 Location: central IL Points: 3212 |
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Thanks for the humor.
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Wayne180d
Orange Level Joined: 08 Dec 2015 Location: Gilman, Il Points: 5923 |
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Good ones
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