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lets leave the gloom & doom for awhile |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13360 |
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Posted: 27 Mar 2020 at 9:56pm |
The
owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice,
so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13360 |
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'nother one,,,,, A social worker from Ohio who was recently transferred to the mountains
of North Georgia, was on the first tour of his new territory when he
came upon the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life. Intrigued, he
went up and knocked on the door.
'Anybody home?' he asked. 'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door. 'Is your father there?' asked the social worker. 'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid. 'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker. 'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid. 'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family? ''Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door. 'This is the outhouse!'😮 |
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allisrutledge
Orange Level Joined: 30 Mar 2010 Location: SurgoinsvilleTN Points: 1352 |
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Hahaha I remember that social worker!!!
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Allis Chalmers still exist in my mind and barns
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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Thank you Joe, I needed that. I feel better already.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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modirt
Orange Level Access Joined: 18 Jul 2018 Location: Missouri Points: 6645 |
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Ok, try this one…….
Three spring breakers finally sobered up long enough to learn of the ongoing virus problem, and since they were about out of money and condoms in Ft. Lauderdale being in shorter supply than TP, decided it was time to head for home. Fearing they might get sick if they got on a plane, they opted to try hitch hiking home. Made pretty good time the first day……all the way to south Georgia, where they decided to hole up for the night. Only place they could afford was a run down Motel Patel………whose normal rate was only $25, but old boy at the desk sized them up as not too bright and desperate, so charged them $30 instead. A couple hours went by and guilt set in, so he calls in one of his hispanic housekeepers, handed her five $1 bills, with instructions to refund the money. Due to language barrier, she misunderstood, and only gave them three $1’s back and kept the other two. Hey, thats what she thought she heard. So to check the math, each guy paid $10, but each got $1 back, so each only paid $9. So 3 x $9 = $27, plus the $2 the maid kept. So that makes $29. Where did the other $1 go???? |
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Bill_MN
Orange Level Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Sioux Falls, SD Points: 1463 |
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That's a good one Modirt, had me for a minute but I see what you did. I won't spill it though....
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1951 WD #78283, 1918 Case 28x50 Thresher #76738, Case Centennial B 2x16 Plow
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DiyDave
Orange Level Access Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Gambrills, MD Points: 50581 |
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[TUBE]AA2r6rca2v4[/TUBE]
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Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need!
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Scott B
Orange Level Joined: 14 Sep 2013 Location: Kansas City Points: 1002 |
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Had to sit down with Ole Jethro Clampett to get some extra fingers but done got it ciphered!
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D17 Series 1
Allis B- 1939 Allis B- 1945 |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13360 |
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Well,,Chit,,,,,guess I'm gonna have to call ole Jethro cause I still get $29,,,,,,
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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Just keep at it Joe.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13360 |
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SO,,,,,,,,who kept the lost dollar,,,??
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DiyDave
Orange Level Access Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Gambrills, MD Points: 50581 |
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[TUBE]2yKue4Szzcc[/TUBE]
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Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need!
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JohnColo
Orange Level Joined: 03 Apr 2020 Location: Niwot, CO Points: 1258 |
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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started........ |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13360 |
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Good one John,,,,,
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near as good as mine." Woulda been World War !!!
Edited by chaskaduo - 07 Apr 2020 at 11:16am |
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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JohnColo
Orange Level Joined: 03 Apr 2020 Location: Niwot, CO Points: 1258 |
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school I asked her, "Do you know him?" "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on And then the fight started... |
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steve(ill)
Orange Level Access Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: illinois Points: 77889 |
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JOHN !!! Now BOTH THEM ARE REAL FUNNY !!
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Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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Yep we missed ya.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Larry Miller
Orange Level Joined: 21 Nov 2009 Location: NWIL Points: 896 |
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With all this stay at home stuff, I am unable to attenend auctions and tractor shows. Found a strange lady on my couch. She says she is my wife. She seems nice.
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I used to be young and stupid, now I am not young anymore.
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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Well Larry, are you gonna try and seduce her?
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Red Bank
Orange Level Access Joined: 18 Apr 2018 Location: Germanton NC Points: 1049 |
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I like the part “she seems nice”. I have laughed all morning to myself about that post I can relate to it. Think I will pass Johns jokes on to the wife this evening see how that goes. Lol
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