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Coke-in-MN 
Orange Level Access
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Afton MN
Points: 41957
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 Topic: Bidenomics ( Humor ONLY )
Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 10:25am |
Bidenomics assisting native Americans
President Biden visits a remote Native American reservation. With news crews following him around as they tour the place, the President asks the chief if there is anything they need.
"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor to man it.”
Biden whips out his cellphone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes, and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days.” "Now what was the second problem?”
"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive.”
Once again, Biden dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed for setting up a purification plant for your people.”
"Now what was that third problem?" The chief looks at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"
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Faith isn't a jump in the dark. It is a walk in the light. Faith is not guessing; it is knowing something.
"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
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jaybmiller
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Greensville,Ont
Points: 24584
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 10:48am |
sadly, it's probably TRUE !
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3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112
Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor)
Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water
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steve(ill)
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 87273
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 3:57pm |
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Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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DiyDave
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gambrills, MD
Points: 53887
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 6:04pm |
Chief say he no like your horse, either... 
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Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need!
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13688
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 6:46pm |
Winning the Lottery. I asked my wife what she would do if I won the lottery, she said she would take half and leave me.
I told her I just won $ 12.00 on a scratch off, so here is your $ 6.00 good bye and keep in touch.
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13688
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 6:48pm |
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with
only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to
the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be
saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied,
'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.
But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what
they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13688
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 6:50pm |
It's the first day of school, and Little Johnny is beginning first
grade. The teacher is having all the students stand up, one at a time,
and introduce themselves. When Johnny's turn comes up, he stands and
says, "My name is Johnny Sexhauer", then he sits down.
The
teacher gets upset, and says, "We'll have none of that kind of language
used in this classroom, now tell us your name". Johnny gets up again,
and says, "My name is Johnny Sexhauer, and if you don't believe me, you
can go to the 4th grade room and ask my sister, because she's there".
The
teacher storms out of the room, goes down the hall, to the 4th grade
classroom, and knocks on the door. The 4th grade teacher answers the
knock, and asks the 1st grade teacher what she can do for her. The
teacher replies, "Do you have a Sexhauer in this classroom"? The 4th
grade teacher replies, "A Sexhauer"????? "They barely give us time f
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13688
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 6:52pm |
Lemon Squeeze
There once was a religious young woman who
went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive
me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'
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DiyDave
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gambrills, MD
Points: 53887
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 7:16pm |
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Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need!
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dee_veloper
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Joined: 12 Apr 2021
Location: USA
Points: 1168
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Posted: 07 Jan 2022 at 7:16pm |
A
group of Scientists are running an experiment on the human brain. They
are trying to figure out how well a human brain can function when it is
missing various sections.
They
start off by cutting out half of the first subjects brain and then ask
him to count to 10. The subject replies "one, five, seven, ten".
The
scientists are intrigued by this. They decide to cut out the entire
brain this time and once again ask the subject to count to ten.
the
subject replies "I can count to ten, I'm the best at counting in the
world, I have the best numbers, the news is fake when they disagree with
me, I think, people, when they think about good numbers, I can count,
with any numbers, all the time, better than China, better than anyone."
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Don't confuse my personality with my attitude.
My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
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Bird76Mojo
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Joined: 12 Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Points: 221
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Posted: 08 Jan 2022 at 10:56am |
https://youtu.be/dZq1cwoDfbY
Edited by Bird76Mojo - 08 Jan 2022 at 10:56am
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JC-WI
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: wisconsin
Points: 34283
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Posted: 08 Jan 2022 at 12:44pm |
Ramzpaul- Fully vaccinated man dies of COVID, Doctors claim that the results could have been worse if he did not have the vaccine ---- words to Mojo's link humor.... a meme.. still a  T - Teigert - Sloppy Joe hey man...
H- Heather Boachard -
X - Heather , how the hell are you, good to see you S - Shaun Smith,...(drowned out by X) X - How are you S - absolutely
H - your doing great, T - your not driving this truck X - (x saunters over to the truck door) Can I open the door? T - NOOo, no, there's no keys, we don't have any keys for the kids X - okay T - f uck yeah, yeah, think about driving this truck, you have no business driving this truck, or anything else, we took a vote and we all in agreement that you can't drive anything besides the country into the ground. That's not my opinion, but everybody else's opinion, we are all in accordance to this idea that you can't drive sheit, you suck at everything you do, you're just digging a hole for all of us, it's not fair to anybody. You're a total nimrod and your not driving this...
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He who says there is no evil has already deceived himself
The truth is the truth, sugar coated or not. Trawler II says, "Remember that."
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