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Gordy 
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: SWMI
Points: 2533
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 Posted: 12 Apr 2019 at 8:07am |
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As you slide down the banister of life , May the splinters never point in the wrong direction.
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“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough”
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Sponsored Links
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ford8nwd
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Joined: 23 Jun 2010
Points: 1284
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Posted: 12 Apr 2019 at 7:56am |
It ain't what you want that makes you fat, it's what you get.
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 12 Apr 2019 at 3:43am |
FLUB-A-DUB How wormy can it get MICKEY MOUSE The worst you can say about just about anything. This is why I dropped out of the local MICKEY MOUSE Antique Tractor Club Take time to smell the roses Best if left alone If that aint a crime it should be
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 11 Apr 2019 at 8:35pm |
A Cracker Jack Just name a trade or Occupation Joe is a Cracker Jack plumber. SOB Son of a BEE Shoot first - Ask Questions Later Falling over Dollar Bills picking up nickels and dimes
Edited by Ken in Texas - 11 Apr 2019 at 8:39pm
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 11 Apr 2019 at 8:25pm |
Sign over the commode in our house back in Illinois read IN IT NOT AT IT. WE AIM TO PLEASE. YOU AIM TOO PLEASE. We had a 1/32nd scale slot car track in our basement. One night a week the basement would fill up with slot car racers . Wife finally said. Last night that bunch of friends of yours pissed up my bathroom for the last time. It's time you do something about. Sooo' I made this sign big enough a blind man could read it. Worked Too.
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iowallis
Silver Level
Joined: 04 Jun 2017
Location: North Iowa
Points: 325
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Posted: 11 Apr 2019 at 6:18pm |
 Thad in AR. wrote:
Today at work one of our plumbers asked me if I like country and western music? I looked at him and said, Son western is to music what a dog turd is to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. |
From the Blues Brothers movie-
Jake and Elwood ask the lady at Bob's Country Bunker what type of music they play.
The lady says "both kinds, country AND western!"
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Thad in AR.
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Arkansas
Points: 9282
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Posted: 11 Apr 2019 at 4:56pm |
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Today at work one of our plumbers asked me if I like country and western music? I looked at him and said, Son western is to music what a dog turd is to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 10 Apr 2019 at 8:29am |
small potatoes
Never Fails to Amaze Me If I tell you a Chicken Dips Snuff no need to look under its wing for a toothpick I've about had enough of this Bull  Holy Boloney
Edited by Ken in Texas - 10 Apr 2019 at 8:43am
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361
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Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 9:36am |
If you fall and hurt yourself,,,I'm gonna whip your butt,,,
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 9:20am |
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Wild as a March Hare
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shameless dude
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Joined: 10 Apr 2017
Location: east NE
Points: 13611
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Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 2:32am |
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I don't give a feathered rats butt!
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 2:30am |
If it makes you happy, it tickles me to death Quit your whining for Pete's sake Dumber than Ditch Water. (The only place I ever heard this one used is Colorado) Serious as Cancer Believe me He finished Second. Everyone else tied for first First come first served Don't ask me Higher than a Georgia Pine No skin off my nose Waitin til the cows come home
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Orangeinwisco
Bronze Level Access
Joined: 13 Sep 2018
Location: NE Wisconsin
Points: 41
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Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 10:25am |
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Bout as useful as t!ts on a boar.
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Lars(wi)
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Permian Basin
Points: 6682
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Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 9:23am |
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If you break your legs doing that, don't come running to me
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I tried to follow the science, but it was not there. I then followed the money, and that’s where I found the science.
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 6:42am |
You sure made a mess out of things by makin a mountain out of a mole hill Singin the Blues aint gona fix anything
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 6:30am |
Get down off your High Horse And Quit Worrying Yourself to Death About It In the long run you will probably be better off without her anyway. Besides that There's plenty more fish in the sea
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GARY(OH/IN)
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Joined: 19 May 2010
Location: Findlay,Ohio
Points: 917
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Posted: 06 Apr 2019 at 11:59pm |
If it weren't for alcohol some women never would have sex. (The above is an original saying by me.)
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Lars(wi)
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Permian Basin
Points: 6682
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Posted: 06 Apr 2019 at 11:27pm |
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It's easier to fool someone, than it is to convince them they have been fooled
one of these day's, I gotta have a looong talk with that boy
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I tried to follow the science, but it was not there. I then followed the money, and that’s where I found the science.
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Lars(wi)
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Permian Basin
Points: 6682
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Posted: 06 Apr 2019 at 11:18pm |
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chubby girls need lovin' too
if she didn't have a p*ssy between her legs, she'd be worthless
never call a man a dick, for some its the only good part about them
the most expensive sex you will have, is after you're married
the day is early, plenty of time for it to go down the sh*tter
he's so mad, he can't even sh*t straight
that man is so crooked, when he dies they will have to screw him into the ground
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I tried to follow the science, but it was not there. I then followed the money, and that’s where I found the science.
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 06 Apr 2019 at 10:04pm |
That will be the day You better believe it Bubba Got her panties in a wad Get laid Who cares Hot dog Big boys don't cry Snug as a bug in a rug I'm going to say this just one more time. Night All
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farmboy520
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Joined: 22 Jun 2016
Location: Beason, IL
Points: 553
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Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 7:56am |
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Never bring a knife to a gun fight.
Measure 3 times and cut once
A few bricks shy of a full load
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Their elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
!ucked like a dog in the street
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On the farm: Agco Allis 9695, 7060, 7010, R66, Farmall H, and Farmall F20 (Great Grandpa's)
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 1:24pm |
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before you know it it's time to go back to work And Quit playin this silly game
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 1:21pm |
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sticks and stones
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 1:18pm |
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None of your Bees Wax
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 1:14pm |
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about a mile or 2 as the Crow Flies
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 1:12pm |
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by the look of it it's Trouble with a capital T
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 1:07pm |
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watch the donut not the hole
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allisrutledge
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Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Location: SurgoinsvilleTN
Points: 1352
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 11:16am |
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She's cuter than a bug with boots on.
If there ain't another day I don't need it anyway.
We will plant corn when an oaks leaf is as big as a squirrels
ear.
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Allis Chalmers still exist in my mind and barns
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chaskaduo
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Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5203
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 10:46am |
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Holy sheep chit.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Ranse
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Joined: 11 Mar 2016
Location: Tennessee
Points: 773
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Posted: 02 Apr 2019 at 6:50am |
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He's as full of sh!t as a Christmas turkey.
I would lose my a$$ if it wasn't tied on.
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