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ain't it the troot,,,,,,,
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13692 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: ain't it the troot,,,,,,,
    Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 10:15am
  
A lawyer, 39 years of age, died suddenly and found himself before St. Peter and the Judgement Seat. Peter began, "Well, let's us see where you will be sent . . ."


The lawyer interrupted and said, "Before you do that, and I think I know where I'm going anyway, I'd like to ask why I died so young."


St. Peter said, "We show that you are ninety years old."


The lawyer said, "That's wrong. I am 39."


St. Peter said, "Oh, we didn't use the calendar. We counted up all your billed hours to your clients."
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Hubert (Ga)engine7 View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Jackson Cnty,GA
Points: 6465 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hubert (Ga)engine7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 1:18pm
That pretty much hit the nail on the head. LOL  Ninetyeight percent of the lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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tadams(OH) View Drop Down
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Joined: 17 Sep 2009
Location: Jeromesville, O
Points: 10868 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tadams(OH) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 2:15pm
crocked lawyers yep
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Michael Crowe View Drop Down
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Kansas City
Points: 1726 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Michael Crowe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 7:24pm
I worked with an attorney once and if he did 4 hours of work on s case involving 4 clients he billed them each 4 hours, so it was common for him to bill in excess of 20 hours a day on many days. I got called into the senior partners office and asked how come my hours were so low. I told him if I’m here 8 hours a day that’s the most I could possibly bill and when you back out office inefficiency, etc. 6.5 hours was about as many hours I would ever bill. He never bothered me about it again but he also never corrected the over billing attorney either.
That being said the joke is funny but sadly very true.
The 14th Annual Exclusive AC Swap Meet will be held in Boonville, MO, March 7-8, 2025. See the club website for details: http://www.moacclub.com/
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steve(ill) View Drop Down
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 87587 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 7:29pm
There HAS to be a legit lawyer SOMEWHERE ???   Or is that an oxy- moron ?
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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Thad in AR. View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
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Points: 9648 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thad in AR. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 8:14pm
A guy walks in a bar and orders a beer. The bar tender says we don’t serve lawyers. The customer asks why? Bar tender says because lawyers are azz holes. The customer gets mad and says take that back. The bar tender says, why are you a lawyer? The customer says NO I’m an azz hole.
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13692 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2018 at 9:11am
 ClapClap
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darrel in ND View Drop Down
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Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Location: Hebron, ND
Points: 8715 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote darrel in ND Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2018 at 10:53pm
A very good Christian fella that also happened to be a talented mechanical engineer died an un-timely death, and inadvertently ends up in hell instead of heaven. But being the good man that he was, he made the best of it. He installed air conditioning systems, and running water and sewer all over hell, so every one down there had it a lot better. One day God checked up on the devil, and seen all of these luxuries, and asked the devil what was up with that. The devil informed him that this "John Doe" that had died and ended up down there had installed all of it. God went back and checked his records, and seen that John Doe was supposed to be in Heaven; not hell, and there had been a terrible mistake. God immediately informed the devil that he should release John Doe and let him go to Heaven where he was supposed to be. The devil naturally denied the request, so God told him that he was going to get a lawyer and fight him for custody of John Doe. The devil just laughed and asked God, "Where are you going to find a lawyer!"
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shameless dude View Drop Down
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Joined: 10 Apr 2017
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Points: 13607 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shameless dude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2018 at 10:54pm
now...that is funny!
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darrel in ND View Drop Down
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Joined: 22 Nov 2009
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Points: 8715 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote darrel in ND Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2018 at 10:56pm
I have another one. A southern lawyer flew into the Bismarck airport last winter when it was 20 below out. Made the news, because no one had ever seen a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. Darrel
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darrel in ND View Drop Down
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Joined: 22 Nov 2009
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Points: 8715 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote darrel in ND Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2018 at 11:14pm
OK, one more than I'll quit.
Young lawyer fresh out of school lands a job with a law firm, and gets his conscience put to the test right away. A very nice old lady came into the firm, and he got assigned to her file. She had no family and very little money, but she wanted it to get set up so that what she did have would get used for her final expenses in the event that she should pass away, thus not being a burden on the county tax payers. The young lawyer took care of her affairs for her as she wished, and then called her in to sign and settle up for the bill. The bill was 100 dollars, so she pulled five twenty dollar bills out of her purse and paid him, thanked him, and left. Later on, when the lawyer went to take the money to the accounting department, he found two twenty dollar bills stuck together, so there were actually six bills; not five. That's when his conscience got tried; Should he slip that extra twenty into his own pocket, or give it to the firm...?
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Ted J View Drop Down
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Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: La Crosse, WI
Points: 18943 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ted J Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2018 at 12:06pm
Poor guys,,,,,,,,all these jokes,,,,,,there ARE some good ones out there!!

What do you call a lawyer on the bottom of the ocean?????,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,a good start...
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19?? WC / 1941 C / 1952 CA / 1956 WD45 / 1957 WD45 / 1958 D-17
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