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allisrutledge 
Orange Level
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Location: SurgoinsvilleTN
Points: 1352
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 Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 10:29am |
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Wilder than a 5 legged rooster
Looks like a steers hindend sewed up with a grapevine
Ain't yer momma holler for ya?
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Allis Chalmers still exist in my mind and barns
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Sponsored Links
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Harvey/pa
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: York Co. Pa.
Points: 1011
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 10:06am |
My favorites from my Grandmother will miracles never cease Better to cut a fart & feel the shame, than bust a gut & go lame I'll Granny you ( she did not like to be called Granny)
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Stan IL&TN
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Location: Elvis Land
Points: 6730
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 9:45am |
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You make a better door than a window.
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1957 WD45 dad's first AC
1968 one-seventy
1956 F40 Ferguson
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Ken in Texas
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 9:31am |
Curiosity Killed the Cat Don't make the same mistake twice. Don't count your chicks before they hatch
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klinemar
Orange Level
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Points: 7935
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 8:33am |
A#s deep to a tall Indian Up to his A#s in Alligators Don't let fear or common sense stand in your way Colder than a Whores heart or Colder than a Witches heart You can always tell a man by his hat and yours is covered with sh#t
Edited by klinemar - 19 Mar 2018 at 8:37am
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thendrix
Orange Level
Joined: 04 Feb 2013
Location: Fairmount GA
Points: 4741
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 7:39am |
higher than giraffes pu@@y 6 bricks shy of a load nuttier then squirrel turds loose as a gooses bowels go through you like a dose of salts rough as a cob quiet as a mouse fart
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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Ken in Texas
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 10:31pm |
drunk as a skunk boys will be boys I give up Opening up a can of worms Turn out the lights. The party is over Catch me if you can Loaded for Bear Taller than a Georgia Pine Jaw deep to a Giraffe Black as Coal Nervous as a Long Tail Cat in a room full of Rockin Chairs A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words A flash in the Pan Things that go BUMP in the night
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farmboy520
Orange Level Access
Joined: 22 Jun 2016
Location: Beason, IL
Points: 553
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 9:39pm |
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Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight
Screwed like a dog in the street
It’s your story, you can tell it the way you want
Lights are on but nobody’s home
Light in his loafers
He’s talking out of both sides of his mouth
He’s got more problems than Carter has pills
A few nuggets short of a happy meal
His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top
Chuck you farlie
That boy ain’t right
Hell or high water
Lord willing and the creek don’t rise
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Hubert (Ga)engine7
Orange Level
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Jackson Cnty,GA
Points: 6142
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 8:31pm |
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Busy as a one eyed cat watching two rat holes.
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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iowallis
Silver Level
Joined: 04 Jun 2017
Location: North Iowa
Points: 325
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 8:00pm |
When somebody is rambln' on "Can we take an escalator to the end of this conversation?"
He who sh!ts in church sits in pew.
You can lead a horse to water but it is a lot easier to ride him.
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access
Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 7:08pm |
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He's so dang screwed up,,he ain't got a pot to piss in,,,or a frigging window to throw it out of,,,,
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chaskaduo
Orange Level
Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5203
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 6:58pm |
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Holy Toledo
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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fixer1958
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: kansas
Points: 2435
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 6:50pm |
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Deader than a hammer.
Go eat chit and die.
Edited by fixer1958 - 18 Mar 2018 at 6:51pm
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Lars(wi)
Orange Level Access
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Permian Basin
Points: 6707
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:34pm |
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Thank God there's not another one of you
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I tried to follow the science, but it was not there. I then followed the money, and that’s where I found the science.
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chaskaduo
Orange Level
Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5203
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:31pm |
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Far Out
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Burgie
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Location: Scottsburg, IN
Points: 1192
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:26pm |
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Like a hair in a biscut.
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"Burgie"
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klinemar
Orange Level
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Points: 7935
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:09pm |
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Just came in with a load of logs.
Keep your powder dry!
Don't let your gun go off.
Watch your top knot.
Swelled up like a poisioned pup.
One brick shy of a full load.
Lies like a little kid who peed to bed.
Your story make it as big as you want.
Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
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Jim.ME
Orange Level
Joined: 19 Nov 2016
Location: Maine
Points: 937
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:09pm |
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Strong like an ox, smart as a tractor.
All his puppies don't bark.
Their family tree looks like a telephone pole.
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Lars(wi)
Orange Level Access
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Permian Basin
Points: 6707
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 4:58pm |
Tall Hat, No Cattle
Tighter than an old maids crotch
dumber than a bag of hammers
so mad, I could spit nails
watching grass grow is more exciting than she is
well, if that dont beat all
horny as a three peckerd billy goat
ugly as a rat's ass
so hungry you could eat the ass out of a skunk
she's so loose, you have to tie a board to back of your butt so you dont go all the way in
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I tried to follow the science, but it was not there. I then followed the money, and that’s where I found the science.
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omahagreg
Orange Level Access
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Points: 2799
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 4:12pm |
My Grandpa Kroeker would say Like shootin' fish in a barrel Rears and Soebuck
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Greg Kroeker
1950 WD with wide front and Freeman trip loader
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weiner
Orange Level
Joined: 19 May 2012
Location: Cadillac, Mi.
Points: 4305
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 3:06pm |
Till the cows come home. Burning the candle at both ends.
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Real heros wear dogtags, not capes.
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TMiller/NC
Orange Level Access
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Lenoir, NC
Points: 1774
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 2:58pm |
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Don't let your bullfrog mouth overload your tadpole azz
Just like a blue jay if he ain't $hitting he's hollering
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access
Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 2:37pm |
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Hold my purse,,I'm gonna go get him.
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im4racin
Orange Level
Joined: 12 Jun 2017
Location: Garrison ND
Points: 844
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 11:39am |
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Heavier than a dead preacher
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fixer1958
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: kansas
Points: 2435
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 10:19am |
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Ass, Grass or Gas, Nobody Rides For Free
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Wayne180d
Orange Level
Joined: 08 Dec 2015
Location: Gilman, Il
Points: 5923
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 10:05am |
He is so tight he squeaks when he walks He is so cheap he will put a 20 in the collection plate and make change
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Steve in NJ
Orange Level Access
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Andover, NJ
Points: 11570
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 9:49am |
Been there... done that! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! Been to three worlds fairs and ain't never seen nothin' like that! Smoother than a babys ass! Cryin' the blues! Big Wienny Hiemer! Big Wiener! Tighter than a Crabs ass...and that's waterproof! So tight his wallet squeaks! More stubborn than an old mule! There's an ass for every seat Teach yer' kids how ta' walk n' talk then ya tell em' to shut up n' sit down! Was ta' Hell n' back! My father used to say: I'd squeeze a nickel till the buffalo  s!
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39'RC, 43'WC, 48'B, 49'G, 50'WF, 65 Big 10, 67'B-110, 75'716H, 2-620's, & a Motorhead wife
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fixer1958
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: kansas
Points: 2435
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 8:58am |
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So broke I can't even pay attention.
Yes Dear..
Edited by fixer1958 - 18 Mar 2018 at 8:59am
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Dusty MI
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Location: Charlotte, Mi
Points: 5053
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 8:55am |
Go ahead and do it your way, you will anyway.
Dusty
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917 H, '48 G, '65 D-10 series III "Allis Express"
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thendrix
Orange Level
Joined: 04 Feb 2013
Location: Fairmount GA
Points: 4741
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 8:22am |
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Sh!t or get of the pot
Drunker then a bicycle
Queer as a football bat
Lost as a fart in a whirlwind
Edited by thendrix - 18 Mar 2018 at 8:25am
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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