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BOY, have I got a thing or two to learn,,,,,,

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Tbone95 View Drop Down
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Joined: 31 Aug 2012
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tbone95 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2023 at 7:21am
Dave Kamp, you left out an "i" in Munising, but the pasties are delicious.

Was at a wedding quite a ways west of there, littlest fly speck of a town called Bruce Crossing.  There was a dude sitting at the bar, we sorta made eye contact, so I say, "Are you a friend of the bride or friend of the groom?"  He says, "Chit I don't even know who got married!"LOL
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only AC orange View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote only AC orange Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2023 at 8:02am
I met my second wife on a Christian Ministries bus trip which no. 1 and I had planned prior to her fatal car accident. I didn't want to go on trip as a single fella but "friends" convinced me to go. Been married to no. 2 for 12 1/2 years and don't regret a minute of it! You never know what is around the next corner!
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2023 at 10:40am
 Well Guys,,I'm real appreciative of all your suggestions even the hilarious ones,,,,WinkWink

Klinemar,,I'm hoping That old guard of the Holy Grail like on Indiana Jones has to tell me "You Chose Badly" ,,,,? I have fended off a few by stating everything I own has already been assigned by my Last Will & Testament,,,fact IS I had one witch try to chew me out because I had already given everything away and I did not want to take care of her,,,? Can you believe that chit?
Dave Kamp,,you're a character!!  Street corners in Winslow,,?? Chit, I hope I got better sense than that,,,and that is a Great idea about letting them know about them having their own plane ticket back if,,,,if,,,she pisses ME off,,,,!!
Pat The Plummer,,Yeah on the pics Vs age thingie,,,most of the really BEAUTIFUL ones,,You have to suspect their pics,,,? The site posts their age next to their pic, so you know it is real but them pics,,,they either spent theeir yearly SS on plastic surgery or like you say,,they used their sissy's pics,,,,Chit, I might want to use ole Shameless's pic,,,just to see what the comments are,,,,LOLLOL
Yes, Tom,,this was my 2nd Christmas and now feel kinda bad as my 7 year old Grandson asked me when we were gonna put up some lights,,,and I just never done it. Actually, I do not want to totally forget her after 53 years together. I have kept a candle lit for her in an alcove I built several years ago that my wife wanted. She had bought a 4 foot statue of the Virgin Mary and will prolly remain there forever. 
 Actually, I ain't making any long term friends on those dating sites as all of those ladies ARE looking for a new permanent home and not sure that is what I want,,yet,,,,Chit, I just wanted someone to TALK and BS with them.
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darrel in ND View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote darrel in ND Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2023 at 10:48am
Well Joe, it's like previously stated; you'll find the right one when you're not looking. In my own case, an upity match maker set us up. 32 years later, still not sure if I should thank the matchmaker, or slap her! Lol! Wife, has tried to get me on board with her to be a matchmaker on several occasions and I shut her down. She always asks me why I shut her down when we were set up by a matchmaker? I plead the fifth!!!lol!
On the note of finding one in church; that's not a terrible gig, but not to be approached without caution also. One of my wife's brothers got a bride through his church, and that didn't end well. Her other brother said that he could have found him a better wife in the bar than what his church found him. And he wasn't wrong!!
Find one with lots of Allis chalmers tractors, and then you'll know that you have a keeper. Maybe you'll find one that'll move you up here to the cold and snowy great white north, where you'll live happily ever after !!!
Darrel
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shameless dude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 12:35am
JOE.....Don't use my pic....someone will see it and want child support! I met my old lady....oooooops....I mean my loving wife at a bowling alley, asked her if she wanted to share some fries? musta been good fries, cuz we been together 47 years! I know you miss you wife, and you should, you 2 were partners lots of years and memories should never end. try most all the suggestions you have gotten, just don't meet up with the lady holding a sign in a parking lot needing $$$$, she'll be driving cars better than you and me put together!  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 6:25am
 Well, Shameless,,I KNEW you were gonna come up with a good retort on the pic comment and you DID,,,,,still laughing,,,,!!!!! You know, since I like to "study" people, I pulled over and was studying some dudes "change shifts" at the walmart intersection,,,and they Both had dogs that sure looked very well fed, while the panhandelers looked like chit,,but soon changed from their "work" duds to their street clothes,,,didn't see what the new guy was driving but the one that just got relieved drove off in a NICE looking Ford one Ton trk,,,you know,,one of them $90 tousand jobbies,,,,,!! So goes the life of a panhandler,,,,,,,,
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 6:37am
 OOOPSsss wasn't thru,,,,Actually,,I keep asking myself,,what the he** am I doing on that dating site as I know I ain't gonna bring a new woman into my house, cause my youngest lives here and he helps with the cooking and pays for half the house bills plus he brings my 7 year old Grandson over every other weekend and I doubt not too many womens are gonna like that arrangement,,,beside,,I kinda like MY house rules!!!!!Clap NOW,,this don't mean I won't want to go visit them every so often,,,,,,Wink Boy, I sure pizzed one ole gal when I told her ALL my property had already been spoken for in my recent Last Will & Testament,,,,,,,LOL Dang was she PIZZED,,,!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fixer1958 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 7:04am
Quit looking Joe. Doesn't mean you can't ponder when a looker walks by.
Something will come along and knock your socks off.

Kinda of like when I was younger and attached/married with a couple of little kids trailing you through the store and some knock out is smiling and batty their eyes at you. 
I could only shake my head and think WTF is this. Those years I was single and then this is taunting me. I think they do that chit in purpose.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 11:16am
Originally posted by fixer1958 fixer1958 wrote:

Quit looking Joe. Doesn't mean you can't ponder when a looker walks by.
Something will come along and knock your socks off.

Kinda of like when I was younger and attached/married with a couple of little kids trailing you through the store and some knock out is smiling and batty their eyes at you. 
I could only shake my head and think WTF is this. Those years I was single and then this is taunting me. I think they do that chit in purpose.


 Well, Fixer,,,I KNOW you are right,,,as when I was married,,I could "find" all kinds of "Knockouts" every time I went to town and mostly when the wife was also there,,,!!  My money is them weemen plan this kind of Chit aand then laugh when you start ogling THEIR FRIENDS,,,,,,LOLLOL
 I've bout decided, I'm gonna quit dreaming on that site and go look for some of them gals that were tempting me those years ago and,,,,,and,,, flirt with them when their husband is with them,,,,,,,see how that works,,,,LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 12:59pm
CAREFUL!!  Ouch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dirt Farmer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 8:00pm
Well Joe that could land you in some trouble or a chance meeting of some cute nurse in the ER.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shameless dude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2023 at 12:29am
back when I was working, me and my co-workers would talk and laugh about some of them gals on them dating sites. we did find one of them gals on the site that worked with us, on a different shift...we all knew what she was like and it wasn't the same what she put on her profile! boy....did we have fun with that! went on quite awhile until someone at worked ratted us out...was fun while it lasted...must be the devil in me? I do see some pretty good look'in older gals at the casinos...they are play'in big bucks...so they must have some $$$.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2023 at 8:31pm
 One day last week I was "cruising" thru the lists of weemens but would up clicking on "PASS" on most of them as all of them was only wanting to "TRAVEL ALL OVER EUROPE"  and really pizzed one of them off cause I offered her my 14 foot row boat,,,ain't gonna be no cruise boat for this guy,,,,,LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shameless dude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jan 2023 at 3:42pm
and the ones that want/like long walks....they gits you out away from everyone/everything, then kicks you in the shins or stomps on your feet, grabs your wallet, shoves you down an embankment and runs off!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fixer1958 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jan 2023 at 6:03pm
Sounds like the makins of a pretty good movie
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jan 2023 at 8:48pm
Originally posted by shameless dude shameless dude wrote:

and the ones that want/like long walks....they gits you out away from everyone/everything, then kicks you in the shins or stomps on your feet, grabs your wallet, shoves you down an embankment and runs off!

 Shameless,,,I ,,,,"Think" you been visiting them sites too,,,!! How you know that ALL start,,"How bout we go for a long walk, and get to know each other better"  THEN we make plans on where to "travel",,,,dang freeloader weemen,,,I just tell em My memory not too good anymore and I can't remember where all the coffee cans are buried,,,,,LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveKamp Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jan 2023 at 10:13pm
Originally posted by desertjoe desertjoe wrote:

... I've bout decided, I'm gonna quit dreaming on that site and go look for some of them gals that were tempting me those years ago and,,,,,and,,, flirt with them when their husband is with them,,,,,,,see how that works,,,,LOLLOL


I'll second the CAREFUL... You start flirtin' with another guy's wife, and next thing you know, he'll DUMP HER on you, and run away laughing...

I had a buddy that was on his way home one afternoon, drove calmly through the little town of Shelby, and as he cleared the last house,  looked back in his rear-view, a local cop turned onto the road about six blocks back.  He saw that cop, and gave it some more gas, lookin' for that City Limits sign... and the cop kept gettin' closer... finally, he saw the sign, planted the throttle and ran that T-bird up to 120, and moments later, that cop followed, kicked his lights on...  Finally, after about six more miles, the cop got up alongside and waved him over, so he pulled off.

The cop walked up to the window and said "Mister, what the H3LL was that all about??  I just came off my lunch shift, headin' to my turnaround and you go layin' two black stripes right in front of me, for WHAT??""

Buddy answered:
"I'm Sorry Officer... I really am... Please accept my apologies, it was just a simple case of Mistaken Identity..."

Officer said:  "What do you mean... MISTAKEN IDENTITY?"

Buddy said:
"It's like this, Officer-  see... three months ago, my wife left me... she dun ran off with a cop from some where over here just north of Shelby... I saw you turn out and come my way, an I thought you was HIM, and was tryin' to run me down and dump her back on me..."
Ten Amendments, Ten Commandments, and one Golden Rule solve most every problem. Citrus hand-cleaner with Pumice does the rest.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2023 at 6:55am
Was cautioned by a ‘Older fella’ years ago to consider long and hard on Divorcees!! Is a reason Are Divorced not necessarily due to the partner they dumped.

Guy working with us at that time scoffed that off, ended up married and divorced from three different women, they all looked fine but were high maintenance where tried to take him for everything that he had. All had history of dumping on guys so his attorney had field days in court with them. He is still single, now retired, plays the field of older retiree gals not intending, actually planning on not ever getting married again.
Rotten bugger lucked into a Thirty something at a bar, stayed dating with her for couple of months where she asked if would like permanent, told her not really where she kicked him to the curb, he is quite a ornery bugger!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2023 at 7:05am
 Yeah, Dave M, I tend to shy away from divorcees and that may be placing undue faults on them but there IS a reason the divorce happened cause it does take two!  Fact IS,,,,,I had one ole gal that got plumb pizzed off just because I asked if she was divorced or Widowed and she responded right back with a one word comment,,,,,,,,"GO TO HELL",,,,LOL needless to say, I dropped her name like a hot potato,,,,,LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2023 at 7:08am
  Good One Dave Kamp,,,I'da done the same thing,,,,!!LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thad in AR. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2023 at 7:17am
Joe I have one in mind for you. Quite a nice lady and a looker as well.
She has her own $$$
She’s kept my crew working for quite a spell and will for the foreseeable future.you could come visit and ride around and help tell me what to do.
I don’t believe your politics would align.
That’s the only problem I see.
She never talks politics around us.
She has no intentions of being retired and enjoying the ole rockin chair.
She could be on easy street but just keeps digging.
I’ve grown quite fond of the ole gal through the years.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2023 at 7:35pm
Thad... I have heard of Sugar Daddy ........... are you saying she could be Joes SUGAR MOMMA ??    Wink
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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Originally posted by steve(ill) steve(ill) wrote:

Thad... I have heard of Sugar Daddy ........... are you saying she could be Joes SUGAR MOMMA ??    Wink

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2023 at 10:03pm
 CHIT Thad,,,I,,,,I,,,,I think I might be on LOVE already,,,!!!UMmmm,,but Thad don't tell her I "might" snore a bit, and I tend to like to eat crackers in bed most nights and I like to sleep late to at least 11 ,,,Ish,,,? You think there might be a chance with her,,,?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JC-WI Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2023 at 1:31am
" Thad... I have heard of Sugar Daddy ........... are you saying she could be Joes SUGAR MOMMA ?? "
  Maybe he might have a cougar by the tale...?
He who says there is no evil has already deceived himself
The truth is the truth, sugar coated or not. Trawler II says, "Remember that."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thad in AR. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2023 at 4:34am
Originally posted by JC-WI JC-WI wrote:

"
   
   
   Thad... I have heard of Sugar Daddy ........... are you saying she could be Joes SUGAR MOMMA ?? "
  Maybe he might have a cougar by the tale...?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2023 at 6:04am
  Well,,,I'll tell ya'll for sure,,,,if she don't expect for me to "clock in" every day,,,I might could be convinced to be a "kept man" ,,,,but she better not expect getting the "benefits" too often,,,,cause,,,,cause,,,,"I ain't as good as I once was,,but I'm as good ONCE as I once was,,,,,,,,,,WinkWink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iowallis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2023 at 7:50am
Advice given to me when I was a younger man, but maybe you are young at heart. 

Don't be too picky. My minimum requirements for being set up on a blind date was that she needed to weigh less than me and couldn't grow a better moustache than me. 

You can marry more money in 1 minute than you can make in a lifetime.

Love is grand, divorce 20 grand (or more)

Finally, if you are out and about drinking and decide to take someone home be aware of how much you had to drink. Several times I brought home a woman that I thought looked like Shania Twain, when I woke up she looked like Mark Twain.

In all seriousness someone will show up when you least expect it. My older 2nd cousin met a guy in an antique store as they both were interested in the same piece of furniture, could have ended up in a fight but they realized they had a common interest. She was divorced for 40 years, he was widowed for 5. They never married or lived together but he spent almost every weekend at her house or were travelling together. Almost 10 years together until he passed away. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2023 at 8:32am
Don't be too picky. My minimum requirements for being set up on a blind date was that she needed to weigh less than me and couldn't grow a better moustache than me. 

Several times I brought home a woman that I thought looked like Shania Twain, when I woke up she looked like Mark Twain.

NOW THATS FUNNY !!
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thad in AR. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jan 2023 at 7:09pm
I told that woman about Joe today. She sounded interested.
She asked if he has any ailments?
I told her that he accidentally got his male anatomy caught in his zipper. She said oh no that poor man. I agreed and then explained that he learned a lesson and would never wear zip up boots again.
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