Well, Friends,,,, this is a sensitive subject for me and prolly many others out there,,fact is Many hundreds of thousands according with all the companies already on line,,,,,

 It has now been one year and 4 months since my wife of 53 years passed and truth be known, and since I may be a sort of a talkative fellar,, I been looking for someone of the opposite sex to "talk" to and maybe go visit or go get a bite to eat with her. Not anything permanent yet,,but who knows? 

 I been "looking" at some of those dating sites and I had no idea there was SO MANY good looking women out there,,,!! Problem is, they mostly live hundreds of miles away and I ain't ready to travel that far to go visit and "Get To Know" like they say,,,?? While those sites say "Long Distance" is no problem, it IS for me. Most of those ladies are ready to pack up and come visit but I ain't ready for that just yet!

 I really pissed one old gal because I told her my property and financial had already been spoken for with my Last will and Testament and all had been assigned to my 5 boys,,,Dang she was pissed,,,!!

 My question for ya'll, I'm not too keen on these dating sites, but where or WHAT does one do to meet up wwith those available ladies,,,,? There ain't any at Burger King,,,,,

 Great advise and don't be in any hurry. Take your time

Trust NONE of what you see and only half of what can speak directly to.

Hey DJ, Cheryl says to watch Judge Judy and you will be glad your still single.

  Like the others have said, look towards the church, maybe even some of their social events /suppers etc.   Maybe take up quilting  or knitting and join their club... LOL

 Juss don't be in any big hurry.

If you meet them online, and it wasn't on the Allis forum, they're fake.  They're bots run by opportunists. 

Don't talk about property or money... ever.  If they start talking about property or money, it's time to walk away.

Now... If you meet them on the Allis forum, and they start off wanting to share pictures of tractors, then offer to meet somewhere for dinner. 

Several of my friends have used sites like E-Harmony and Plenty of Fish.  They seem to be satisfied with the ones they have met.

I met my girlfriend at a chamber of commerce mixer.  

 Also TSC,Farm and Fleet,Rural King or the local Feed n Seed . They all got to feed their critters

Lars(wi) wrote: I met my wife, at of all places, a bar. We have been together ever since we first met. This Sept., will be 37 years.

But Lars, you're in God's Country... Bars are different in Wisconsin...

For those of you that haven't been up here... there's some things you should know about northern Iowa, most of Wisconsin... Minnesota, mebbie even into the Dakotas...  you go into a small town, and in the center of the town, on one corner is a Catholic church.  On the opposite corner, is a Lutheran church.  On the two adjacent corners, are bars.  One's the Lutheran bar, the other is the Catholic bar.

What's the difference between the Catholic and Lutheran bar?  Well, it's all based on where the Catholic priest, and the Lutheran minister are.  If the Catholic priest is in one bar, that's the Catholic bar, and the Lutheran priest is in the other...

If NEITHER is in the bar, it's because they're in the church for a scheduled worship, or a wedding, or funeral or such... or one of 'em is at a wedding or funeral at the other, or they're playin' Pinochle or Crazy 8's in the barbershop.

If they're BOTH in the same bar, it means it's fish-fry night, and if you just got there and figured it out, they're already probably already out of fish, so order some cheese curds.

Oh, and in Wisconsin, it is not only legal, but considered polite to park your snowmobile in the churchyard, and walk to the bar after mass.  It is also common practice to let your dog drive the 'sled' home afterwards... designated driver, so don't let him drink, and make sure he's got a good set of goggles.

It is considered polite to offer fresh deer sticks to friends and strangers.  Try them- they're GREAT... but probably not in church... put 'em in your pocket and save them for after mass.

Cheese curds are a thing.   If you think they're gross, it's because you're thinking too much.

Throwing axes isn't a 'new' thing up here.   Fishing is all-year-round, and when you see an ice-fishing hut, if you THINK it's cold and miserable, you'll be very surprised to find out you're wrong.  Most have satellite TV with football on, nice furniture... a bar, probably even a hot-tub.  If you want to meet a good woman, the ice-fishing scene is a place for you... don't be surprised if she's ice-fishing in a bikini, sitting in the hottub, drinking a beer, watching football or hockey, with deer sausage and cheese curds...  and don't be surprised if there's a Lutheran minister, or a Catholic priest out there too...

Although you're supposed to have ID to vote, it is unlikely you'd walk into your polling place without them not only knowing your name, but they'll know your parents, grandparent, your siblings, they'll know who you've been dating, what you drive, and how long since you got new tires on your truck.

You MAY be over legal age, but you're not actually considered an 'adult' until you carry a chainsaw, gas, oil, and gear in your truck... if it's not a downed tree, it's a good spot to ice-fish that needs a hole.  Hand it to the bikini-girl, and hold the ice-hut door open so the oil-smoke doesn't fog up the TV screen or rainbow the hot tub.  Don't get distracted watchin' her butt... step out, hold the door wide open and stand BEHIND it... 'cuz she's gonna cut to point the spoils that way.  If you don't your bibs and britches are gonna be an ice-bucket full'a bar oil.

MOST of the time, the local constable drives a UTV, and it DOES have radar.  If you make him go get his patrol car to chase you down, he will be mad, so stop when the lights come on.  If you're new in town, it is perfectly acceptable to ask the constable when and where the Fish Fry is held.  Joe- go to the Fish Fry... look for the ice-fishin' gals, and offer them a deer stick.

It is normal for people to water-ski in the wintertime.  It used to be snowmobiles, but 4-wheelers are frequent, and if the plows haven't been by, you can get in a few passes down main street.   Wear a reflective lifejacket and carry deer sticks, just in case the constable turns on his lights, or the bikini girls invite you over to watch the game.

But down in southern New Mexico... well... last time I was through, it was pretty far between humans... and you don't get the right kind'a weather for ice-fishin'...  You'd likely be better off heading north of Tucson bow-hunt Saguaro...

Always carry a deer tag in your glove box...  More trophy bucks are taken by Buicks, than bows, shotguns, or rifles.

 Dang You Steve,,,,I had actually thought bout that,,,except I was gonna buy a couple of them flower boukets,  they sell there at walmart and give one flower to every female that caME THRU MMMmmmm "Unescourted females,,,, see how many cell phone numbers i get,,,,

 Clay,,thet right there is why I titled this thread like I did,,,,,

 One ole gal from down in Florida was a great looking women and she has a spotty profile ,,,,65 years ole and looked like she was 40 ish,,,,,,lol so like a dumbass, I ask her if she was widowed or divorsed as I wanted to KNOW,,,,!! Well,,it diidn't take too long and comes back with a quick retort,,,,"GO TO HELL!",,,the bit**!,,,so I take a pic of my middle finger and send it to her profile,,,,, The other witch told me that "YOU AREN"T SUPPOSSED TO ASK A LADY IF SHE IS WIDOWED OR DIVORCED" I reminded her that I had NOT called her a "LADY" and she wasn't suppossed to ask a "Gentleman" if he has a savings account  in "Good Standing",,,  The friggin nerve of some women,,,!!!

 Dave Kamp,,,just where did you learn all that "stuff" ,,,???  I'ma gonna write it all down ,,,,in case I ever hit that country,,,you know just to be "ready"   SAY,,Dave,,,you got any female  "In-Laws that need a partner to go to a church socials, do you,,,,??

desertjoe wrote: Dave Kamp,,,just where did you learn all that "stuff" ,,,???

Well, Brother Joe... you know what I do, and that my assignments take me from the lower border, all the way up into the lower provences of Canada.  I get to meet people everywhere... all sorts of culture, all sorts of localisms, and I absorb it all...  it could be a Knish in Queens yesterday, a pasty in Munsing day-after-tomorrow, or a Cheeseburger in Paradise next Friday night... and in two weeks, a visit to Aunt Chilada's in Phoenix... I just go.   I drove through Winslow Arizona, and there wasn't a single girl standin' on a corner.

Really, EVERY place has it's things, and learning the 'things' is what travelling is all about.

Now, back to finding women... there's at least five dozen 'suggestions'... like... get a dog (they're chick magnets)  take up yoga and pottery (Yeah, you've got the physique for both)... or hunt for your next life-partner at the local laundromat.

"Yeah baby- this is my favorite laundromat.  I could do my laundry at home, but I like it here better..."

I think that this is a situation where you're least likely to find what you're looking for, if you're LOOKING FOR IT.

Now, the other thing you could do, is put out a silly ad that says "I'm an old widower with a bucket list that includes going to (name someplace interesting, like Yellowstone).  I'm too damned old to do it by myself, and too hard-headed to do it with young people, but if you're an older gal with a similar bucket list and nobody to check it off with, send me an Email..."

And see what you get.  Keep an open mind and stipulate that if she goes with, she should have the ability to purchase a plane ticket back in the event that she finds you to be an intolerable pain in the ass.

https://youtu.be/rY4je0mPN3M" rel="nofollow - https://youtu.be/rY4je0mPN3M

Was at a wedding quite a ways west of there, littlest fly speck of a town called Bruce Crossing.  There was a dude sitting at the bar, we sorta made eye contact, so I say, "Are you a friend of the bride or friend of the groom?"  He says, "Chit I don't even know who got married!"

 Well Guys,,I'm real appreciative of all your suggestions even the hilarious ones,,,,

Klinemar,,I'm hoping That old guard of the Holy Grail like on Indiana Jones has to tell me "You Chose Badly" ,,,,? I have fended off a few by stating everything I own has already been assigned by my Last Will & Testament,,,fact IS I had one witch try to chew me out because I had already given everything away and I did not want to take care of her,,,? Can you believe that chit?

Dave Kamp,,you're a character!!  Street corners in Winslow,,?? Chit, I hope I got better sense than that,,,and that is a Great idea about letting them know about them having their own plane ticket back if,,,,if,,,she pisses ME off,,,,!!

Pat The Plummer,,Yeah on the pics Vs age thingie,,,most of the really BEAUTIFUL ones,,You have to suspect their pics,,,? The site posts their age next to their pic, so you know it is real but them pics,,,they either spent theeir yearly SS on plastic surgery or like you say,,they used their sissy's pics,,,,Chit, I might want to use ole Shameless's pic,,,just to see what the comments are,,,,

Yes, Tom,,this was my 2nd Christmas and now feel kinda bad as my 7 year old Grandson asked me when we were gonna put up some lights,,,and I just never done it. Actually, I do not want to totally forget her after 53 years together. I have kept a candle lit for her in an alcove I built several years ago that my wife wanted. She had bought a 4 foot statue of the Virgin Mary and will prolly remain there forever. 

 Actually, I ain't making any long term friends on those dating sites as all of those ladies ARE looking for a new permanent home and not sure that is what I want,,yet,,,,Chit, I just wanted someone to TALK and BS with them.

 Well, Shameless,,I KNEW you were gonna come up with a good retort on the pic comment and you DID,,,,,still laughing,,,,!!!!! You know, since I like to "study" people, I pulled over and was studying some dudes "change shifts" at the walmart intersection,,,and they Both had dogs that sure looked very well fed, while the panhandelers looked like chit,,but soon changed from their "work" duds to their street clothes,,,didn't see what the new guy was driving but the one that just got relieved drove off in a NICE looking Ford one Ton trk,,,you know,,one of them $90 tousand jobbies,,,,,!! So goes the life of a panhandler,,,,,,,,

 OOOPSsss wasn't thru,,,,Actually,,I keep asking myself,,what the he** am I doing on that dating site as I know I ain't gonna bring a new woman into my house, cause my youngest lives here and he helps with the cooking and pays for half the house bills plus he brings my 7 year old Grandson over every other weekend and I doubt not too many womens are gonna like that arrangement,,,beside,,I kinda like MY house rules!!!!! NOW,,this don't mean I won't want to go visit them every so often,,,,,, Boy, I sure pizzed one ole gal when I told her ALL my property had already been spoken for in my recent Last Will & Testament,,,,,,, Dang was she PIZZED,,,!!

Something will come along and knock your socks off.

Kinda of like when I was younger and attached/married with a couple of little kids trailing you through the store and some knock out is smiling and batty their eyes at you. 

I could only shake my head and think WTF is this. Those years I was single and then this is taunting me. I think they do that chit in purpose.

 Well, Fixer,,,I KNOW you are right,,,as when I was married,,I could "find" all kinds of "Knockouts" every time I went to town and mostly when the wife was also there,,,!!  My money is them weemen plan this kind of Chit aand then laugh when you start ogling THEIR FRIENDS,,,,,,

 I've bout decided, I'm gonna quit dreaming on that site and go look for some of them gals that were tempting me those years ago and,,,,,and,,, flirt with them when their husband is with them,,,,,,,see how that works,,,,

 One day last week I was "cruising" thru the lists of weemens but would up clicking on "PASS" on most of them as all of them was only wanting to "TRAVEL ALL OVER EUROPE"  and really pizzed one of them off cause I offered her my 14 foot row boat,,,ain't gonna be no cruise boat for this guy,,,,,

 Shameless,,,I ,,,,"Think" you been visiting them sites too,,,!! How you know that ALL start,,"How bout we go for a long walk, and get to know each other better"  THEN we make plans on where to "travel",,,,dang freeloader weemen,,,I just tell em My memory not too good anymore and I can't remember where all the coffee cans are buried,,,,,

desertjoe wrote: ... I've bout decided, I'm gonna quit dreaming on that site and go look for some of them gals that were tempting me those years ago and,,,,,and,,, flirt with them when their husband is with them,,,,,,,see how that works,,,,

I'll second the CAREFUL... You start flirtin' with another guy's wife, and next thing you know, he'll DUMP HER on you, and run away laughing...

I had a buddy that was on his way home one afternoon, drove calmly through the little town of Shelby, and as he cleared the last house,  looked back in his rear-view, a local cop turned onto the road about six blocks back.  He saw that cop, and gave it some more gas, lookin' for that City Limits sign... and the cop kept gettin' closer... finally, he saw the sign, planted the throttle and ran that T-bird up to 120, and moments later, that cop followed, kicked his lights on...  Finally, after about six more miles, the cop got up alongside and waved him over, so he pulled off.

The cop walked up to the window and said "Mister, what the H3LL was that all about??  I just came off my lunch shift, headin' to my turnaround and you go layin' two black stripes right in front of me, for WHAT??""

Buddy answered:

"I'm Sorry Officer... I really am... Please accept my apologies, it was just a simple case of Mistaken Identity..."

Officer said:  "What do you mean... MISTAKEN IDENTITY?"

Buddy said:

"It's like this, Officer-  see... three months ago, my wife left me... she dun ran off with a cop from some where over here just north of Shelby... I saw you turn out and come my way, an I thought you was HIM, and was tryin' to run me down and dump her back on me..."

 Yeah, Dave M, I tend to shy away from divorcees and that may be placing undue faults on them but there IS a reason the divorce happened cause it does take two!  Fact IS,,,,,I had one ole gal that got plumb pizzed off just because I asked if she was divorced or Widowed and she responded right back with a one word comment,,,,,,,,"GO TO HELL",,,, needless to say, I dropped her name like a hot potato,,,,,

  Good One Dave Kamp,,,I'da done the same thing,,,,!!

 CHIT Thad,,,I,,,,I,,,,I think I might be on LOVE already,,,!!!UMmmm,,but Thad don't tell her I "might" snore a bit, and I tend to like to eat crackers in bed most nights and I like to sleep late to at least 11 ,,,Ish,,,? You think there might be a chance with her,,,?

" Thad... I have heard of Sugar Daddy ........... are you saying she could be Joes SUGAR MOMMA ?? "

  Maybe he might have a cougar by the tale...?

  Well,,,I'll tell ya'll for sure,,,,if she don't expect for me to "clock in" every day,,,I might could be convinced to be a "kept man" ,,,,but she better not expect getting the "benefits" too often,,,,cause,,,,cause,,,,"I ain't as good as I once was,,but I'm as good ONCE as I once was,,,,,,,,,,

Don't be too picky. My minimum requirements for being set up on a blind date was that she needed to weigh less than me and couldn't grow a better moustache than me. 

You can marry more money in 1 minute than you can make in a lifetime.

Love is grand, divorce 20 grand (or more)

Finally, if you are out and about drinking and decide to take someone home be aware of how much you had to drink. Several times I brought home a woman that I thought looked like Shania Twain, when I woke up she looked like Mark Twain.

In all seriousness someone will show up when you least expect it. My older 2nd cousin met a guy in an antique store as they both were interested in the same piece of furniture, could have ended up in a fight but they realized they had a common interest. She was divorced for 40 years, he was widowed for 5. They never married or lived together but he spent almost every weekend at her house or were travelling together. Almost 10 years together until he passed away. 

Dang it Thad,,,,I been laughin on that one for an hour,,,but,,,,but,,,I DO wanna know what her comments was,,,,?

 You know,,,,I been batting  pretty much below .212 with these biddies on that  site,,,,Why is it them weemens are so sensitive about answering questions whether they are widows or divorcees,,??  Had another one want to know why I wanted to know, if she was either,,,whats the BIG deal,,,ir it a secret??? The latest one I was talkin to BEFORE had told me last she was divorced,,,THATs IT! Last nite  she let slip she had been divirced TWICE,,,TWICE I TELL YOU,,,,!!! I had no comment but she jumped at me and says Why you sop interested on my FRIGGIN divorces,,,,,and hung up on me! The Sorry  beach,,!!

 So, I guess Im down to .189,,but i'm having some good fun,,,,,

I was just on another site and came upon this.  I'm not the author, it made me chuckle and instantly think of Joe!

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.' I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. "So what do you think about that Doc ?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season." One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."

"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The 86-year-old said, Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

 OH CHIT!!!!  that Birdman done got my number,,did he not??? The only'ist thing is,,,,, I use them prophylactics,,,whacha think bout that,,,,??

  Chit,,my 7 year old wears me plumb out by the time he goes home,,imagine what that 20 year old would do to me,,,,,

He would come to work just dog ass tired all the time.

Found out later a 22 year old wife that worked him over pretty regular.

Made sense because of the way she climbed all over him when she came to work see

him. 

It was a standing there slack jawed moment seeing her the first time.

 CHIT,,Thad,,,just exactly WHEN does the last snow fly in your country,,,,?? I HAVE GOT to get my chit together and get ready to leave at a moments notice seeing as how the "Lady" is needin some friendship,,,ya know,,,? She has a "Head Maintenance worker" and it wasn't you,,???Don't worry,,I'll put a bug in her ear soon as I get to first base,,,,

So she also has a Man Friend she sees as I have been witness to, takes her to nicer restaurants, shows and such, she also gives him a little gratitude as been told where he is pressing that she lose the children(Knows she is using them) and he can sate her desires.  Guy is mid to late sixties, retired, not the fireman physique he likely never had, I suspect is trying to commit suicide by sexual encounter!!!!

 Well,,,I just cannot seem to get ahead in this game with weemens,,,,I had this sharp lookin gal throw me some "Likes", sayin she is 74 and has a set of sure enough "Bedroom Eyes" and too dang cute for her own good,,,,!! Her bio is kinda empty but them eyes are drawing me in pretty bad,,,,,? She starts out just wanting to text instead of Talking which to ole Mr Detective Joe is throwing a RED Flag! I keep telling her I cannot type worth a Chit with just 2 fingers and wanna "TALK", !! Says she likes texting,,,,whoops there goes another RED Flag,,,!! THEN, she texts she is actually 40 years and recently divorced,,,WTF,,?? Fully understanding the "ramifications" of even dreaming of trying to stay up with a 40 year old is most likely gonna kill me, so I try to let her down as gently as I can so I ask her to send me pic of her RIGHT now and she sends one,,,,,,,BUT,,,it ain't the same pic as in her bio!!!! I ask her WTF and she gets upset like in MAD that I tried to trick her ,,,about this time I get a "urgent Message" from the site telling me this woman has just been removed from the site for "violations",,,,,then she gets upset AT ME,,and wants to "start over" SO,,I say Good Bye as fast as I can and and start counting my lucky stars and go straight to bed,,,,still counting,,,,,,  Chapter 6 be tamarrow,,,,,,,

 HOLY'IST CHIT,,Steve!!!!!!!!  I'ld,,,,I'ld get plumb lost trying to find my way around all that MEANESS,,,would you look at that,,,,!!!!  I KNOW she ain't NO MARINE, that's for sure,,,,  but THAT is more than 30-40 too dang many of them tats,,, I know lots of men and these days weemen too like them tats but maybe a small flower behind her ears or maybe an even smaller one above her belly button,,,you know just a small "promise" of things to come would suit me just fine but this takes the whole frigging bakery,,,,,,,,

 (her drawers are way too big too)

 Well,,,,Soggy,,,what would we do without these "Treasures",,,?    and,,,,and,,I like your suggestion,,,!!!

 Well, Steve,,,,if it wasn't for a dang good "Potential" over in Arkansas,,I'd agree with you,,and when Duty calls and one must be "On The Ready"  you know,,,when nature calls,,,,

 AW CHIT,,,,, Dave,,,HER gum in YOUR ear,,,naw that would NOT work for me regardless how big a KNOCKOUT she might be,,,,,,,. Years ago, I dated a girl that made you think that she thought there might be some gold or something deep in my ear,,,she spent so much time with her long skinny tongue rooting in there,,all the time taking them deep, deep breaths and getting all worked up,,,,I quit her for a more docile person,,,,

 Well,,TONY,,,I really feel for you on your loss of you wife. It is enough for a person to try to make sense of everything going on around us without adding the loss of a long time partner. 

 GOD never intended for his followers to be alone, so take your time and you'll be OK. I have no idea what your faith suggests for your mourning, but I feel that is entirely up to YOU. My wife passed in August 2021 and just now I feel like it is time. AND, Truth be known, I believe most wifes would want their living partners to be happy, I feel mine would. Good Luck Guy,,,,

My mom used to ask me "why are you always pulling a hamstring." Just used to tell her  "I don't know Ma. Must be works trying to kill me"

Probably why my backs jacked up now. Hamstrings are better now though.

Dad used to works nights and get home about 1 AM. He would be in the kitchen eating his dinner. I would come home, probably no shirt, Stumbling part of the time, hair sticking straight up like I drove with my head out the window. "You been fighting again?" Yeah, just a tussel. He could tell by the bruises on my neck and chest.

 FIXER,,,,you are something else,!!!!!,,,,BUT,,I LOVE your style, My Man,,,,!!  I done a lot of same except I never had any money for motels and SHE never did either,,,!! just haul azz to the river bank and dig trenches in the sand,,,,,,usually four trenches bout 12" apart,,,,lol   sometimes much deeper than that,,,LOL. AHHhh,,,but them was the good ole days,,wasn't they,,??

 Sorry to hear Tony Prayers

 Yeah, Thad,,,I gots a really funny one bout something like that but NO WAY it'd get past the moderators and prolly get me banned like a twitter user,,,,,

No not so much. I was the screamer from the sharp ass finger nails.

   

   UMMMmmm,,,,,,,Are we getting close the "getting banned chit",,,,,,,but it sure promises to get lots better,,,,,,,,,,  Just all clean fun,,,,,,, I gots a few more of them Fixer and Dave "revealings" but wanna stay on here a few more years,,,,,,

Good times. Things sure change after you get married and have 

carpet monkeys running around.

We parted ways after about 4 years. She wanted to get married and I wanted to get a little more established. My dad was a little disappointed I think. She used to go to the lake with us. Girl skin season.