A little humor to pas the time
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Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
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Topic: A little humor to pas the time
Posted By: desertjoe
Subject: A little humor to pas the time
Date Posted: 09 Nov 2019 at 7:18pm
Replies:
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 09 Nov 2019 at 7:19pm
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One more,,,,, A
child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said,
"Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made
babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the
same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to
become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You
lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her
side of the family.
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Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 09 Nov 2019 at 7:20pm
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OK,,OK,,just one more,,,, A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy
room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?"
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Posted By: Hubert (Ga)engine7
Date Posted: 09 Nov 2019 at 7:49pm
 Joe, you are on a roll tonight!------------- Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God. |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 10 Nov 2019 at 6:44am
CBD oil must be kickin in.  ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 10 Nov 2019 at 8:45am
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Posted By: Wayne180d
Date Posted: 10 Nov 2019 at 10:46am
| The nine year old son had a dream one night and a crow told him his aunt was going to die. Shaken by his dream he went and told his parents about the dream. they laughed at him and said his aunt was healthy and it was just a bad dream. Two weeks later his aunt had a massive heart attack and died. Several months went by and the crow came to him in a dream and told him his father was going to die the next day. The young son did not want to worry his mother so he only told his father. The next morning his father left early and did not come until very late. He told his wife he had a horrible at work and sorry he was late getting home. His wife just looked at him and said you should have been here,, The mailman dropped dead on the front porch this morning. |
Posted By: TimNearFortWorth
Date Posted: 10 Nov 2019 at 10:51am
| You know you have problems in the marriage when you move from NY to CA, and have the same mailman . . . . |
Posted By: Larry Miller
Date Posted: 10 Nov 2019 at 11:03pm
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Best one I head this week. Wife told husband that if he bought one more AC tractor she was going to shut down his night time fun. Husband said, You are starting to sound like my X wife. Wife says, I thought you told me your were never married before. Husband says, I wasn't. ------------- I used to be young and stupid, now I am not young anymore. |
Posted By: Stacik
Date Posted: 11 Nov 2019 at 5:25pm
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Leaving Omaha, I decided to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when I heard a voice from the other stall. "Hi there, how's it going?" Okay...I'm not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in the washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say so finally I said: "Not bad." Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?" I'm starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm going back east..." Then I hear the person, all flustered, say: "Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question, this idiot in the stall next to me keeps answering." |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 22 Nov 2019 at 10:35pm
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One more time,,,,,, Two engineering students were crossing campus when one asked the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 23 Nov 2019 at 8:26am
Probably true the way they design and engineer crap up today. And that's no joke.  ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: Darrell G (MN)
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2019 at 8:09am
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Another one for you Joe A man and his wife walk into a dentist's office. The man says to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry! I have two airport rat buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go fly. We have a 10:00 AM takeoff time and it's 9:30 already. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!" The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?" The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him." |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2019 at 9:19am
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Good one Darrell,,,,,
 Nuttin like a caring husband,,, |
Posted By: Ted J
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2019 at 10:44am
------------- "Allis-Express" 19?? WC / 1941 C / 1952 CA / 1956 WD45 / 1957 WD45 / 1958 D-17 |
Posted By: JohnCO
Date Posted: 26 Nov 2019 at 1:25pm
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Saw this one in Farm Show; Ole and Leana were known in the town to be "thrifty". One day they go to the only restaurant in town and order a cheeseburger, cut in half and two waters. The waitress brings the food and Ole starts eating. She comes by a while later and sees that Leana hasn't eaten any of her burger. She asks if everything is alright and Leana answers, Yeah, Just waiting for the teeth. ------------- "If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer" Allis Express participant |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 26 Nov 2019 at 2:59pm
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They must be from way back in the woods. ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 26 Nov 2019 at 5:45pm
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Good One ,,John,,,,it good to hear from you,,you been THAT busy,,??
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Posted By: JohnCO
Date Posted: 26 Nov 2019 at 10:33pm
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Oh I post now and then, and lurk all the time... ------------- "If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer" Allis Express participant |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 27 Nov 2019 at 5:44am
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That almost sounds creepy. ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |