Ha Ha time
Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
Forum Description: anything you want to talk about except politics
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=164923
Printed Date: 29 Apr 2024 at 9:02am
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Topic: Ha Ha time
Posted By: Clay
Subject: Ha Ha time
Date Posted: 09 Oct 2019 at 1:16pm
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A man and a woman were traveling in a train. Woman: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place. Man: Awwww!.........Are you single? Woman: No, I am a Dentist....
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Replies:
Posted By: LouSWPA
Date Posted: 09 Oct 2019 at 6:44pm
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Aw, common Clay, well below your standard! LOL ------------- I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27 |
Posted By: Ted J
Date Posted: 11 Oct 2019 at 9:01pm
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GRRRrrrrroan. ------------- "Allis-Express" 19?? WC / 1941 C / 1952 CA / 1956 WD45 / 1957 WD45 / 1958 D-17 |
Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 14 Oct 2019 at 4:02pm
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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?" The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said-- "Well yeah, if that's what they are-- I never heard of circle flies". So the farmer says-- "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses back end?" The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses back end." The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer says, " Hard to fool them flies though. " |
Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 14 Oct 2019 at 4:04pm
| An Oklahoma Highway Patrolman pulled over a vehicle in eastern Oklahoma. When he approached the vehicle, the driver lowered the window. The OHP officer popped him on the side of his head with his night stick and said, "This is Oklahoma, son. You have your registration, license and insurance available when I get up here. The driver apologized saying he was from out of state and this was a rental car. After checking the paper work, the officer gave a warning. He then walked to the passenger side window and knocked on it with his night stick. When the passenger rolled the window down, the officer popped him in the head with the night stick. The shocked passenger asked what that was for. The officer replied, "I know your type, two miles down the road you would have looked at the driver and said, "I wish he had tried that with me". |
Posted By: LouSWPA
Date Posted: 14 Oct 2019 at 8:20pm
 ------------- I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27 |
Clay wrote:Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 15 Oct 2019 at 8:15am
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Great one,,Clay,,,
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Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 31 Oct 2019 at 12:36pm
| A gas station owner in Arkansas was trying to increase his sales; So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time." A week later, the same redneck, along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week." |
Posted By: Ted J
Date Posted: 01 Nov 2019 at 8:39am
 
------------- "Allis-Express" 19?? WC / 1941 C / 1952 CA / 1956 WD45 / 1957 WD45 / 1958 D-17 |