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18 clowns in a tiny car...

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DiyDave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2019 at 6:22pm
Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jun 2019 at 6:01pm
Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jun 2019 at 7:21pm
Source: Babylon Bee
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DMiller View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jun 2019 at 7:07am
Need a new version of JoeB, Creepy Sleepy Joe. Came out from one of his College cohorts he has always had a eye for 'Little Girls'
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jun 2019 at 7:53pm
Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jun 2019 at 5:55pm
Joe Biden Promises To Cure Cancer As Though Essential Oils Don't Already Exist
June 13th, 2019

OTTUMWA, IA—Presidential candidate Joe Biden promised to cure cancer if he is elected president, a strange claim since essential oils already exist and have been shown to cure cancer by studies performed by obscure mom blogs across the internet.

< width="300" height="250" border="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" ="0" ="0" allowtransparency="true" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" id="aswift_0" name="aswift_0" style="-sizing: border-; left: 0px; : ; top: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; width: 300px; height: 250px;">

"I promise to cure cancer if I'm elected," he said, showcasing his baffling ignorance. It's like he doesn't even know that a few whiffs of lemon extract and lavender and your cancer goes away on its own. It's pretty frightening how out-of-touch Biden is on this one. He likely doesn't even have an essential oils starter kit or some handy rollers in his pockets.

The real question is whether Biden is in the pocket of Big Pharma. He probably is, since he made bold claims like curing cancer and totally ignored all the mom-reviewed research studies that show there's already a cure for cancer, consisting mostly of mixing up a bunch of essential oils and breathing them in through a diffuser you can buy from some lady at your church at full retail price.

If you'd like to know more about how essential oils can cure all forms of cancer, don't worry, the lady at your church will be approaching you soon whether you want to talk about it or notWink

Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jun 2019 at 5:18pm
Elizabeth Warren Promises To Cure Smallpox
June 14th, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Shortly after Joe Biden promised to cure cancer if he is elected president, presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren attempted to one-up her opponent, promising to cure smallpox as one of her first actions upon taking office.

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"We will fend off the smallpox attacks of the white man," she said while sipping "fire water" in a live video posted to her social media accounts. "If I am elected, I will find a way to end this scourge on our people and send the white devils back across the great sea where they came from."

Warren also vowed to support housing construction by funding new low-cost wigwams, longhouses, and teepees across the land.

Her policies would also address hunger. "I promise a buffalo over every fire!" she said, before giving off a war cry that she had found on Google and carefully rehearsed ahead of time.

"A vote against me is a vote for the smallpox blankets the white man used to oppress our people!" she concluded.Wink

Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jun 2019 at 6:04pm
Democrats Vow To Close Dangerous Gun-Buying Loophole Known As 'The Second Amendment'
June 17th, 2019

U.S.—Democrats have made vows to place extreme restrictions on guns, but they keep running into a problem: Many of their ideas can’t go into effect because of an early addendum to the Constitution. They’re now calling this the “Second Amendment loophole.”

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“We just want to get guns off the streets,” Cory Booker, one of 583 presidential candidates, told the press, “but this Second Amendment loophole makes it so we can’t do that. We need to close that loophole.”

The way many gun control advocates would like things to work is, if they read in the New York Times about a particular gun model they think is scary--like an AR-15 or a semi-automatic or a glue gun--they could then just go ahead and ban it and start taking it from people. Normally things would work this way with anything else, but thanks to the Second Amendment loophole, they can’t just ban guns because they feel like it.

Closing the Second Amendment loophole won’t be easy, though, as it will take two-thirds of the states to sign on, a nearly impossible task. This sort of thing has also blocked many other politicians' brilliant plans, something they refer to as the “Federalism loophole.”Wink

Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jun 2019 at 7:45pm
Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jun 2019 at 5:58pm
Joe Biden Promises His Followers Eternal Life
June 25th, 2019

NEW YORK, NY—On a talk show Monday evening, Joe Biden promised his followers he would eradicate all disease, pain, suffering, and that he would even vanquish death itself.

During a heated Democratic primary in which candidates have been tripping over themselves to offer their followers more and more outlandish promises and just straight-up cash, Biden made the promise to stand out and hopefully cinch the nomination.

"While my fellow candidates think they can cure cancer, the common cold, or smallpox, I myself will go one step further," he said, the audience of the late-night show on the edge of their seats. "I promise, here and now, to give everyone who votes for me abundant life, and life everlasting. For my yoke is easy, and my taxes are---well, they're gonna be pretty heavy. But still."

The crowd began screaming in joy, with several audience members fainting. Biden personally walked through the crowd and massaged several fainted women back to life.

"There will be no more debt, no more death, no more pain, for the former things will have passed away," he said tenderly as he took his seat once again. "I will wipe every tear from their eyes."

"There will be sorrow no more."Wink

Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JC(WI) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jun 2019 at 6:16pm
you all will juss be in hell with ol' blow a hole through the door smoken Joe... for his lies he creates to tickle and please your ears and senseless brains.
He who says there is no evil has already deceived himself
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2019 at 7:33pm
Spare Empty Podium Expected To Win Democratic Debates By Wide Margin
June 26th, 2019

MIAMI, FL—A spare empty podium and microphone set up backstage at the Democratic debate this evening is projected to win the event "hands down" according to experts.

"This spare podium and microphone won't say anything stupid, won't vow to take more of your money away, and won't promise voters to meddle in your lives," said one commentator. "The podium's policy positions are hard to argue with. You don't have to deal with Warren's reparations, Biden's empty promise to cure cancer, or Bernie's plan to cancel all student debt."

"In a lot of ways, the empty podium may win over everybody tonight," the commentator continued. "I know it has my vote."

Should the podium win the Democratic primaries, it will face Donald Trump in the general election. While Trump has had some success in the White House, experts believe that the empty podium, consisting of nobody at all, is likely to beat out Trump as the ideal leader of our nation.Wink

Source: Babylon Bee
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DMiller View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jun 2019 at 6:31am
BWAHAHAHAHA! Spare EMPTY Podium may win Democrat Debate!!!!

I stand astonished that ANYONE can consider these laughing stock clowns as POTUS or even Congressional material where I would NOT vote for them as Crosswalk guard Democraps, Holy crap do they come off ignorant and absolutely CLUELESS!!

Edited by DMiller - 27 Jun 2019 at 6:31am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote LouSWPA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jun 2019 at 7:04am
Dave, you said a mouthful there! non of these clowns should be in the office they are in, let alone the oval office!!!!
I am still confident of this;
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jun 2019 at 7:35pm
Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jun 2019 at 8:06pm
Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jul 2019 at 7:35pm

Tired Of Christians Imposing Their Religious Beliefs On Others, Democrats Come Out Against Equality
July 5th, 2019

U.S.—A number of Democrats have called the recent laws restricting abortion “imposing religion on others” since the basis of the laws is the ultra-religious view that murdering one’s offspring is wrong. Now some are going farther and attacking other laws they see as imposing the Christian religion on society, specifically any having to do with treating all people as equal.

“Treating all people as equal is an extreme Christian view that has no place in the law,” presidential candidate Kirsten Gillibrand told a sparse crowd. “If you want to believe people have a soul and are all of equal value, you can, but that religious view has no place in government.”

Christians hold the religious belief that all people have an immortal soul beyond any earthly value and that in Heaven there are no divisions between people. This belief runs counter to the prevailing evolutionary theory that people, like any other animals, are unequal, some adapted better than others. Despite the science, the religious view of equality is the basis of many laws. Democrats now vow to change that.

“I’ve long held onto my list definitively ranking the races, and I think it’s time I share it,” Joe Biden said at a campaign stop, embracing the new anti-equality view. In a similar vein, Democrats are vowing to fight a number of different laws, such as those restricting abortion and laws recognizing human rights, i.e., anything that follows the extreme religious view that human life is valuable and should be treated with dignity.Wink

Source: Babylon Bee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NEVER green Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2019 at 10:41am

I love it Dave how this thread gos on and on, the fuel for this clown ride never dries up.
2-8050 1-7080 6080 D-19 modelE & A 7040   R50       
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2019 at 12:16pm
Somebody get the Knives away from them, the blood from the self cut throats will drown us ALL!!
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